Category Archives: Uncategorized

 

 

 

Best Experienced With:          Meat Loaf;  Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth

(please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music to this evening’s treatise on niche marketing in a new browser window)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnyHCK_w8ac

 

Am a fan of niche marketing.    It allows smaller players in a market to capture a large portion of a smaller, segmented market.   Consider reggae music.   Reggae music would not exist if people did not smoke the sticky icky because most reggae music sucks pretty badly.   Reggae music makers knew their music sucked pretty badly so they paired it up with dope smoking and BOOM:  they captured that niche.   Same with Cypress Hill.   No one in their right minds would listen to that annoying high pitched whining “insane in the membrane”, were they not stoned.  Go home and listen to Insane in The Membrane stone sober and we will all wait right here for you.

See?  It sucked, didn’t it?

Same thing Phish and Widespread Panic did with magic mushroom consumers.   There’s no way people would listen to Phish or Widespread Panic hour after hour, were they not tripping on mushrooms.         Clever stuff, that niche marketing

eHarmony is a fantastic example of niche marketing.  eHarmony markets their service to people that want to get married.    eHarmony has no product to sell and they carry no inventory.  eHarmony has no buyers or planners, they never have a missed shipment, ad infinitum.  e Harmony is simply a market maker…..the NASDAQ for people who dream of procreation yet hear “tick, tick, tick, tick, tick” ever loudly with each passing day.    eHarmony markets their service as a cure for that telltale heart sound.      Brilliant.

Many of us have no intention of ever getting married.   eHarmony would be the improper niche and a poor solution for us.  There are many benefits to rolling single.  It is half price every time we go to a concert, go to dinner, etc.   Had I picked up on that one in my early thirties, am certain I would be sharing billionaire dinners with Mr. Jobs, Mr. Pickens, and Mr. Gates.   Moreover those of us in this non-marrying niche also have the benefit of that first 90 days of perfection happening every 91 days.     When you see an underserved market, dive right in.    Fill in that gaping void.

This evening we are proud to announce the on line beta version of Mind of Mully E Dissonance (MOMED….pronounced Moe-Med…emphasis on the second syllable).  If you’re just looking for some fun with absolutely no expectations or commitment, print out the form below, circle your answers in purple crayon, and mail your submission to The LJ with $53.00 in cold hard cash.   Within fourteen days, a random (yet well matched by our crack team of mate matchers shown below) person will show up at your door for a mystery date. 

 eHarmony’s “twenty-nine dimensions of compatibility” pale in comparison to The Mind of Mully E-Dissonance “thirty dimensions of relative compatibility”.  

Mind of Mully has 30.

One louder.

 

Multiple Choice

The word that most accurately describes me is:

1. Female
2. Male

The word that most accurately describes what I am looking for is:

1. Equine
2. Bovine
3. Porcine
4. Supine

Most days, I am:

1. Well coiffed
2. Disheveled
3. Persnickety
4. Enigmatic
5. Well fed

The Irish are clearly:

1.  God’s chosen people
2. Masters of innovation with potatoes
3. Masters of innovation with alcohol flavored things
4. All of the above
5. None of the above

 

My ideal night would involve:

1. Role play
2. Gun play
3. Mamet play
4. Play Dough

 

I have been charged with a felony:

1. Once
2. Twice
3. Three times

I have been convicted of a felony:

1. Once
2. Twice
3. Three times

My favorite color is:

1. Pear
2. Chartreuse
3. Pistachio

Mel Gibson is:

1. Crazy
2. Really crazy
3. Really, really crazy
4. Australian

When I levitate, I prefer to look straight out, as opposed to down

1. True
2. False

If I had to go to a really, really, really long concert, it would be a concert by:

1. Widespread Panic
2. Phish
3. Some random reggae band
4. I don’t do drugs, but thanks anyway!  

When I was on E Harmony, I:

1.   Did get married
2.   Didn’t get married

 

True or False

4 x 4 = 16

The French, for the most part, are annoying

Rye toast is superior to sourdough cheese bread

Always split aces and eights

Double down on eleven

Fighting a land war in Southeast Asia is an excellent idea

The sins of the fathers shall be visited upon the sons

Best Zins are the red Zins

4 + 4 + 4 +4 = 16

Essay

On a hot summer’s night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

Will he offer me his mouth?

Will he offer me his teeth?

Will he offer me his jaws?

Will he offer me his hunger?

Again?

Will he starve without me?

Does he love me?

On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

Seconds on meatloaf?   Sure, why not.   How about Bat Out of Hell?    Those two sure wrote some damn music back in the day……”the sirens are screaming and the fires are howling way down in the valley tonight.”   Far, far superior to Cypress Hill.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Waq_z7lvxjw

 

Best Experienced With:       The Who;                 905

(please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music for this evening’s treatise in a new browser window.   Proof positive that John E. from The Who could write some damn fine music)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2ZOhWAaGVs

 

Spent Friday evening with a friend who recently visited New York City, visiting Ellis Island as part of her trip.   A grade school teacher made us memorize Emma Lazarus’s poem The Colossus, engraved on the other island in that harbor, at the base of the Statue of Liberty.  “Give me your tired, your poor, our huddled masses yearning to breathe free.  The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.  Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me-I lift my lamp beside the golden door.” 

One of the finest examples of consonance as a poetic tool is Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven.   Sitting there at his desk, all hopped up on true old school absinthe and pinot noir, Mr. Poe gave us the one of the finest examples of despair being the absence of hope.   The motif is throughout the poem, especially in the following verse:  “Other friends have flown before -On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”

As documented here several months back we white, upper class males have lost hope these days.   We white, upper class males are the picture of despair:  despair being the absence of hope.

Sunday, Nelson Mandela opened the final match of the World Cup by cruising around the pitch in front of the word and 80,000 fans just outside of Soweto.   Almost one billion people watched a man imprisoned for twenty-seven years for his anti-apartheid views ride around smiling in the final match that many never expected to see in that nation.   Was only thirty-three years ago that South Africa’s upper class white males murdered Stephen Bantu Biko.   Rent Denzel Washington’s movie Cry Freedom if you care to see how far South Africa has come in three decades.  Mandela shared a great deal of hope and dignity that he shared with South Africa

 

Last Monday was the fifteenth anniversary of the Srebrenica massacre in eastern Bosnia.  Radko Maldi and his troops lined up between 7,000 and 8,000 Muslims in a single day and shot them.   They expelled 30,000 more Muslims, raped women and young girls, and destroyed entire villages.  750 recently identified bodies from mass graves were reinterred in Potocari on Sunday.  The remaining eleven million Muslims have rebuilt and carried on with a great deal of hope.

 

Monday was also the sixth month anniversary of the earthquake in Port Au Prince.   There are still one and a half million homeless folks in Port Au Prince an estimated 350,000 orphans.   Now that the broadcaster vultures are back for a week, we’re seeing interviews and by golly, there’s a still a lot of hope in those smiling faces.   Especially the kids’ faces. 

 

For every one murdering, entitled, trust fund rich kid jackass like Johan Vandersloot, there are a few hundred thousand non-entitled non-jackass kids, well deserving of a chance at finishing a secondary education and entering college.   Had the opportunity to meet twenty-three of them last Friday evening at The Seville Theater in San Diego.  Strong young women with a magnificent analytical acuity.

Twenty-three young mothers who availed themselves of Street of Dreams here in San Diego and choose to finish high school on their own.    Each began by stating their name, their challenge, and their dream…then they read their poems.   Each poem full of hope from young women that have seen things none of us ever has or ever will. 

 

 

I Am

I struggle not to become a statistic

I am someone who wants to become great

I am my own person

I am strong minded

I am going to walk with my head up

I have had a lot of problems

You are not in my shoes

Tears…smiles…

I won’t give up

I am a young woman

I am proud

I take the blame

Trying so hard

Been through so much

I am on my way

Look at the inside

I want you to know who I am

I am a survivor

I am a young mom

Who loves her son

I am a person

Who wants to be loved

                                                    May 18, 2010

                                                    Group Poem:          Linsday School

 

……..and at the end of each of their lives is an open door.  Bravo Street of Dreams.   We white, upper middle class males are envious of the hope you bring to the world.

 

 

 

 

 

(Editor’s Note:   Through an act of force majeure, MullyOpes Aid (Joeapalooza) is moved to October, 2010.   As per usual, 100% of the $$$$$$ raised at MullyOpes Aid (Joeapalooza) goes to fund scholarships at Street of Dreams.  MullyOpes Aid (Joeapalooza) will begin accepting corporate sponsorship applications in August.    Tell your friends.     Especially the white, upper class male friends who run companies.   Maybe we can give them some hope.)

 

 

Best Experienced With:           Axis of Justice House Band (Tommy Morello, Flea, Pete Yorn, Serj Tankian);       Chimes of Freedom

(please right click on the link below to open the suggested musical accompaniment to this evening’s Independence Day gathering.   May I have one of your sparklers?  Thank you.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0Hpuy3EaCk

 

Nothing, freedom included, can exist in a vacuum.  

Was driving through Pacific Beach early this morning watching a lot of youngsters celebrating their freedom to dress like strippers at 8:30 a.m., celebrating their freedom to puke on Garnet Avenue before the day actually get started, and celebrating their ability to participate in what I like to call “the dumbing down and whoring up” of my country.  

Just like Cinco de Mayo, Saint Patrick’s Day, Christmas, Arbor Day, Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Boxing Day, (ad infinitum), Independence Day has become another fantastic opportunity to get back at daddy and mommy by wearing really, really big gold hoop earrings and poorly fitting clothing.  

Figured that three people around the world, as well as their stories, might add substance to Independence Day by adding air to the vacuum and shooting the vacuum in the head with both barrels.   Those three people are Haitham Maleh of Syria, Gendhun Choekyi Nyima of Tibet, and Farzad Kamangar of heaven.

Enjoy and please keep in mind that two beer bongs means you are fun.   Three beer bongs means you are going to get voted “Most Likely to Appear on either COPS or Intervention”.   Beer bongs have a slim margin of error.

Political Prisoner

Ah, Syria.   Iran’s primary defense against Israel.  Within the last week, Syria allowed Hezbollah to set up their own Scud missile base within Syria in order to maneuver around those pesky rules of not being allowed to actually arm Lebanon.  If Hitler had any kin alive, odds are that Syria would build them some ovens and invite them over from Austria for the summer.

Last week, Syria sentenced Haitham Maleh to three years in prison for the madcap crime of……..wait for it……..weakening national morale.    This is the third go round in prison for the seventy-nine year lawyer and human rights activist who spent most of the 1980’s in prison and is banned from leaving Syria.   Ever.

Mr. Maleh clearly deserved that three year prison sentence.   He was constantly criticizing the Ba’ath government and no one wants to get criticized all the time.   My parents criticized me unmercifully as a child:  always after me to clean up my room.  Sometimes I pass out when I see a can of Pledge or a vacuum.   Criticism hurts and the pain lasts for years.  I am going to have to side with the Ba’ath party.

Am also going to give the Ba’ath party bonus points for ingenuity for passing the law in 1963 that outlaws any and all opposition to…..wait for it….. the Ba’ath party.   Brilliant!   Even more brilliant is that when someone like Mr. Maleh speaks up for freedom of speech, freedom of assembly or anything else we take for granted, they get thrown in jail for my new favorite crime.

Weakening national morale!  Sure hope Mr. Maleh does not lose his Guezen medal while he is imprisoned for the next three years.   That would be a shame.

 

Religious Prisoner

Was very cool of the IOC to provide China a red carpet to the world stage, despite the air quality, slave labor, and the fact China stole the future Dalai Lama (and current Panchen Lama) thirteen years before the Olympics.   And are still holding him and his family.    

On May 14, 1995, His Holiness the Dalai Lama recognized a six-year-old boy from Northern Tibet, Gendhun Choekyi Nyima, as the 11th Panchen Lama of Tibet.   One week later, Gendhun Choekyi Nyima and his family disappeared from their home in Tibet.  They have not been seen or heard from since. 

Seven months after his disappearance, on December 8, 1995, the Chinese government enthroned their own Panchen Lama, disregarding the choice of the Dalai Lama and the wishes of the Tibetan people.  Tibetans are forbidden to own or display photographs of the Dalai Lama.  There is a crackdown on all Dalai Lama photos in shops, restaurants, and monasteries.

On May 7, 1996, monks from Ganden Monastery, one of the largest in Tibet, demonstrated in response to this crackdown.  Soldiers fired warning shots before entering the monastery and then arrested at least 66 monks.  During the incident, three monks were shot and wounded.  Another monk reportedly died of a bullet wound several days after the incident.   The Panchen Lama is still missing and Tibetans continue to be arrested, detained, and tortured for exercising their religious beliefs.

Am going to have to side with China on this one, as I sided with Syria on the Mr. Mahel sentence.   That little kid in The Golden Child scared the crap out of me and I’m certain the kid would have killed Eddie Murphy and the rest of the characters, given enough time.   Can live on one single little leaf a day?   Levitates?  

Were you China, would you want some holy figure like that kid always threatening you from your western border?  Heck no.  Gendhun Choekyi Nyima as Dali Lama could have created nuclear warheads out of doves or sparrows and BOOM………there goes China.   Tibet took over parts of China in 1640 and it could happen again.  I don’t blame the Chinese one bit for persecuting all those monks and those hater Buddhists.  

We understand, China.   We all know six year olds and six year olds are frightening.  Always throwing their 64 box full of Crayola crayons around the room and screaming for juice boxes.   We understand, China.   No harm, no foul.   Please stop sending lead filled Barbie dolls?   Thanks!

 

Educational Prisoner

Eight weeks ago, at Evin prison in the northwest corner of Tehran, Farzad Kamangar was beheaded.  Before you get all angry and excited, please read the rest of this section.   Sometimes people deserve to get beheaded in prison yards and Mr. Kamangar is a good example of these types of dangerous people who deserve to get beheaded.

First, though, please put yourself in the shoes of the folks that cut off Mr. Kamangar’s head in May.   You faked an election a year ago, got caught, and two generations of Iranians revolted peacefully for months.   Your folks are out there with guns and billy clubs beating people in the streets and they won’t even fight back.   Major vexation there.   Then, you get busted building nuclear weapons and have the stiffest international sanctions imposed on a country since Libya back in “the day”.   You with me?  You have the general vibe?

If you are Iran, you most certainly don’t need some rabble rousing Kurdish teacher teaching  subversive things!   Especially a thirty-two year old Kurdish teacher because a thirty something teacher is going to teach their subversive rabble rousing crap for decades and decades.   Mr. Kamangar was convicted of “enmity towards God” in a five minute trial.   “Enmity towards God” is almost as awesome of a charge as “weakening national morale”, but not quite as awesome.   Both are in the top quintile of cool sounding crimes, though.

At least Iran did the right thing and executed Mr. Kamangar before his appeal was processed.   They were also wise enough to wait until after they cut off his head to tell his attorney and family that they were going to cut off his head.   Saved a lot of time on that appeal and saved a lot of needless phone talk by simply calling and asking where the family wanted the body shipped and if they preferred two boxes or everything crammed into one. 

Plus, Iran executed Mr. Kamangar  on Mother’s Day and no brutal Islamic theocracy is cruel enough to tell a mom that they are going to execute her son the day before Mother’s Day.   That would be tasteless.

 

We are uniquely fortunate to live in a country where we can choose to call Glenn Beck an small minded, hating, non-fact checking bigot without fear of prison.    Now please, for the love of the Dalai Lama, take off those stupid shoes and massive gold hoop earrings and give me a hug.   I am sorry about your mommy and daddy.   It’s OK……you are in the safe, warm confines of the Mind of Mully now.   Toss the pumps in the box on the left and the hoops in the box on the right.    Feel better?

Thanks for joining this evening.  This is a fantastic place to live.

 

(Editor’s Note:   Iran did not really cut Farzad Kamangar’s head off.    They hung him.  The “one box or two” sentence lost all context if you thought they hung him.   Sorry.)

 

Tommy Morello’s Axis of Justice brings together musicians, fans of music, and grassroots political organizations to fight for social justice.  If you have ever felt the itch to “organize”, you’ll find some great success stories here as blueprints.   Find out more about Axis of Justice at the link below:

http://axisofjustice.net/

The link below takes you to Farzad Kamangar’s last letter, written in Evin prison.   A beautiful letter, written with a great deal of hope.

http://enduringamerica.com/2010/05/09/iran-farzad-kamangars-last-letter-is-it-possible-to-teach-and-be-silent/

 

 

Best Experienced With:          Poison;       Talk Dirty to Me

(please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music to this evening’s French lesson)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXwxI8-dVdw

 

Best way to learn something new is to associate it with something you truly adore.   Am spending the summer learning French so that my taunting skills are more finely honed on the next France visit.   Taunting is far better when you speak the language.   Have also been inundated with offers of millions and millions of dollars from banks in Burkina Faso and believe the transfer of this these tens of millions of dollars will go more smoothly in Burkina Faso’s native language.   French.

There are no fine French beers.  Have chosen to learn French through 1980’s metal bands.  Care to join?

 

 

You know I never

Vous je ne sais jamais

I never seen you look so good

Je n’ai jamais vu, vous l’air si bon 

You never act the way you should

Vous n’avez jamais agir de la manière dont vous devez 

But I like it

Mais je l’aime 

And I know you like it too

Et je sais que vous l’aimez trop 

 The way that I want you

La façon dont je veux vous 

I got to have you

Je suis arrivé à vous 

Oh yes, I do

Oh oui, je ne

You know I never

Vous je ne sais jamais

 I never ever stay out late

Je n’ai jamais rester dehors tard

You know that I can hardly wait

Tu sais que je peux à peine attendre 

 Just to see you

Juste pour te voir 

And I know you cannot wait

Et je sais que tu ne peux pas attendre 

 Wait to see me too

Attends de me voir aussi

 I got to touch you

Je suis arrivé à vous toucher 

Cause baby we’ll be

Parce que bébé nous serons

At the drive-in

Au drive-in

In the old man’s Ford

Dans l’arrêt Ford du vieillard 

behind the bushes

derrière les buissons 

Until I’m screaming for more more more

jusqu’à ce que je suis Screamin ‘pour plus de minerai de plus 

Down the basement

Down le sous-sol 

and lock the cellar door

et verrouiller la porte de la cave 

Talk dirty to me

Parlez-moi de sale

And baby

Et bébé 

talk dirty to me

parler sale pour moi

You know I call you

Vous savez que je vous appelle 

I call you on the telephone

Je vous appelle au téléphone 

I’m only hoping that you’re home

Je ne suis en espérant que vous êtes à la maison 

So I can hear you

Je ne peux donc que vous entendiez

When you say those words to me

Quand vous dites que ces mots me 

And whisper so softly

Et murmure tout doucement 

I gotta hear you

Je dois vous entendez 

Cause baby we’ll be

Parce que bébé nous serons

At the drive-in

Au drive-in

In the old man’s Ford

Dans l’arrêt Ford du vieillard 

behind the bushes

derrière les buissons 

Until I’m screaming for more more more

jusqu’à ce que je suis Screamin ‘pour plus de minerai de plus 

Down the basement

Down le sous-sol 

and lock the cellar door

et verrouiller la porte de la cave 

Talk dirty to me

Parlez-moi de sale

And baby

Et bébé 

talk dirty to me

parler sale pour moi

“C.C. pick up that guitar and talk to me”

 

Cause baby we’ll be

Parce que bébé nous serons

At the drive-in

Au drive-in

In the old man’s Ford

Dans l’arrêt Ford du vieillard 

behind the bushes

derrière les buissons 

Until I’m screaming for more more more

jusqu’à ce que je suis Screamin ‘pour plus de minerai de plus 

Down the basement

Down le sous-sol 

and lock the cellar door

et verrouiller la porte de la cave 

Talk dirty to me

Parlez-moi de sale

And baby

Et bébé 

talk dirty to me

parler sale pour moi

and baby

et le bébé 

talk dirty to

parler sale 

Me

Moi 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best Experienced With:          Prince;        I Would Die 4 U

(Please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music in a new browser window.   Puzzle night with Kurt Vonnegut along for the ride….it does not get much better than that on a Thursday evening.  Unless you are Bill Gates or Flavor Fav because their Thursday is most likely significantly different than ours.)

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coYQp6IVcPQ

 

 

“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: “It might have been!”  (John Greenleaf Whittier in Maud Muller)

 

 

 

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are ‘it might have been’”  (Kurt Vonnegut via a Bokonon convert on San Lorenzo)

 

 Answers:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See the cat?                                                                      See the cradle?

 

That is one heck of a book.  Perfect for a holiday weekend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best Experienced With:     Matchbox 20      Unwell

(please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music in a new browser window)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_TL9YFemic

 

 

G20 Countries in 2010:

• Argentina
• Australia
• Brazil
• Canada
• China
• France
• Germany
• India
• Indonesia
• Italy
• Japan
• Mexico
• Russia
• Saudi Arabia
• South Africa
• Republic of Korea
• Turkey
• United Kingdom
• United States of America

“The G-20 is the premier forum for our international economic development that promotes open and constructive discussion between industrial and emerging-market countries on key issues related to global economic stability. By contributing to the strengthening of the international financial architecture and providing opportunities for dialogue on national policies, international co-operation, and international financial institutions, the G-20 helps to support growth and development across the globe.”  G20 Web Site 

Countries with the most confirmed capital punishment executions in 2008:

1. China:                                1,718

2.  Iran:                                    346

3.  Saudi Arabia:                    102

4.  United States:                     37

5.  Pakistan:                               36

6.  Iraq:                                        34

“The death penalty is the ultimate denial of human rights. It is the premeditated and cold-blooded killing of a human being by the state. This cruel, inhuman and degrading punishment is done in the name of justice.  It violates the right to life as proclaimed in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.”   Amnesty International Web Site

 

Playboy’s Top 10 party schools for 2009:

1) University of Miami

2) University of Texas (Austin)

3) San Diego State University

4) University of Florida

5) University of Arizona

6) University of Wisconsin (Madison)

7) University of Georgia

8) Louisiana State University

9) University of Iowa

10) West Virginia University

 

 

Congratulations to all our list winners.   Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

 

 

Thanks for joining this evening.    Stay a while.   We have Hostess Ho Ho’s and pilsner beer.    

 

Best Experienced With:     Smashing Pumpkins            Landslide

(please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music in a new browser window)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U4opbXoMss

 

 

 

 

When I Have Fears That I May Cease To Be

When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,
Before high-piled books, in charactery,
Hold like rich garners the full ripen’d grain;
When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;–then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.

 

Sonnet on Fame

Fame, like a wayward girl, will still be coy
To those who woo her with too slavish knees,
But makes surrender to some thoughtless boy,
And dotes the more upon a heart at ease;
She is a Gipsey, – will not speak to those
Who have not learnt to be content without her;
A Jilt, whose ear was never whisper’d close,
Who thinks they scandal her who talk about her;
A very Gipsey is she, Nilus-born,
Sister-in-law to jealous Potiphar;
Ye love-sick Bards! repay her scorn for scorn;
Ye Artists lovelorn! madmen that ye are!
Make your best bow to her and bid adieu,
Then, if she likes it, she will follow you.

 (John Keats:  1795-1821)

 

 

 

Wine Women and Snuff

Give me women, wine and snuff
Until I cry out “hold, enough!”
You may do so sans objection
Til the day of resurrection;
For bless my beard they aye shall be
My beloved Trinity.

Lord Byron was a whining sissy compared to John Keats.      Lord Byron never wrote about snuff.    John Keats wrote “Wine, Women, and Snuff”    Quo erat demonstrandum.      Lord Byron was a sissy.

 

Best Experienced With:    Limp Bizkit and Xzibit;    Getcha Groove On

(please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music to this evening’s treatise.  Falling outside two standard deviations, this treatise will most likely self destruct by dawn. )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88XeknpvnM0

 

 

 

Vexation:  (n)     What I feel when I hear surgical sales people complain about getting up at 5:00 a.m. to be in surgery or when I hear my MD friends complain about being on call.  And if you choose a career that involves travel?  You are going to miss flights and your days will always disintegrate.    Vexation:  (n)  

Each of the above examples is a choice.  None are examples of something a federal judge handed down as a sentence.   None should be converted into crosses and thrown onto shoulders nor squeezed out onto a Facebook page for sympathy points.

Showing up to sell in surgical cases at 5:00 a.m. is a choice.   Becoming a doctor and taking call is a choice.   Accepting a job that involves travel is a choice.  If you do not like your choice, toss the cross aside and make a different choice. 

This summer is the perfect storm for missed flights.   The number of flights has been pared well back, lots of slack jawed West Virginia families are on vacation, and business travel is picking up again after two down years.  Add in all the bad Midwest storms because God is angry that the Cavaliers did not make it to the NBA Finals and what do you get?   The perfect storm for missing flights if you travel every day for work.  

Best thing to do when your summer travel gets trashed is to execute the following patented offense:

Step One

Find yourself a tasty tune to put on loop on your iThing.    The one you clicked above there is a good one because you can practice throwing your rhymes.   Moreover, this song is ideal for doing the modified prep while sitting in a chair in any airport.

 

Step Two

Choose a “happy place” funny JPEG.   Something so funny that no matter how many times you look at it, it still makes you laugh like a hyena.  The one below is my “happy place” funny JPEG.   Feel free to adopt it as your own to save some internet searching time.   You are welcome.

 

Marketing folks!   The following are called “product line extensions” of the Photoshopped kitten with the foam animals chasing it.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step Three

 

Figure out a “Plan B” and execute said plan expeditiously. 

The gentleman below is Gerald, the finest cab driver in Ohio.  

 

When my Dayton-Detroit-The LJ flight got moved three times then shot in the head this evening, Gerald got me from Dayton to Cincinnati to make an 8:25 shot in the dark flight home in 73 minutes flat.   73 minutes flat is a land speed record during rush hour that would impress Chuck Yeager.

On the way from the Dayton airport to the Cincinnati airport, Gerald and I traded off singing the two part harmony from Getcha Groove On while we discussed our beloved Cleveland Browns at length.  Moreover, Gerald told me stories about my favorite basketball player, Ron Harper, from when Ron was a kid in Dayton, Ohio.  We had fantastic discussions at 114mph on Route 75 because every blade always cuts both ways, The Random is generous, and every adventure is exactly what you make of it.

All hail Gerald and The Random.

 

 

The Mind of Mully 

I got breakneck delivery

No time for chivalry

Extraordinary abilities

….longevity

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best Experienced With:       Crystal Method;       Can’t You Trip Like I Do?

(please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music for this evening’s thing)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tlt4CJhbxwI

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mind of Mully
Published whenever I want, in English and in Mesopotamian
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The Mind of Mully

Got the acumen of a seasoned pro
Got the legacy of a billion souls
Got the world down my back, but I don’t seem to care
Got the comprehension of a world unaware

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh my god it’s the best………….

 

 

Best Experienced With:          Living Color;        Cult of Personality

(please right click the link below to open the suggested background music to this evening’s treatise in a new browser window)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xxgRUyzgs0

 

 

Have flown true First Class across the ocean once:  British Airways from San Diego to London in November, 2002.    It was magnificent.   Bathrooms strewn with rose petals and embossed with diamond encrusted mirrors.  Bathrooms large enough for badminton matches or Mayan human sacrifice ceremonies.  Flight attendants riding tame giraffes down the aisle offering a choice of Krug or Cristal champagne.   Ice cold pilsner beer served by top hat wearing koala bears while trained flying squirrels glided throughout the cabin with napkins hanging from their little feet to wipe the dribbled caviar from our chins.  It was magnificent.

The flight attendants not only encouraged us to use our electronic devices during takeoff and landing, they handed out signal jammers, tasers, and (pre-market release) Wii gaming devices to those whom had not brought their own electronic devices.   Firearms and explosive devices (as well as comments and jokes regarding firearms and exploding devices) were permitted in First Class, although no one brought any.  Shortly after takeoff, three Italian tailors appeared from nowhere and made each of us a custom fit Canali suit.    True First Class was simply magnificent.

Change is hard.  Since that flight, all other flights have been different and most have paled in comparison.  Although I carry eucalyptus on all flights to this day, I have yet to again see the top hat wearing koala bear or taste his pilsner beer again. 

Change is hard.

Please fill your mug with pilsner beer from the keg there in the back of The Attic and gather back at the carpet squares.  We will toast a Persian change agent in a little while.

People magazine comes out twenty-three times each week and costs two dollars.   The Harvard Business Review  comes out once per month and costs seventeen dollars.  People is populated with photos and the ASP per photo is .0004 cents.   Harvard Business Review is populated with words and the ASP per word is .0004 cents.  Each is different, yet proportional in the value provided.

The June, 2010 Harvard Business Review  is all about managing change within your business.  Many of you fly every week.  When you are rolling through the airport this week, pick up the issue pictured below.   Lots of really smart people and lots of really great articles on getting past that “that’s not the way we have done things around here” objection.  The magazine also help with my personal favorite “that will not work in this market because this market space is different than any other market space in the universe.”   Every business lesson works in every market space.    Change is hard.   Get over here.   Give me a hug and go buy the magazine below.

Consider The Pope.  Last week The Pope explained that even though the church hid pedophiles and might not hide pedophiles in the future, depending upon the plan that the church may or may not have come up with…………the church will still not allow priests to marry.  The Catholic Church and I run fast and far from marriage, both for different reasons.  Recently moved on over to a Disciples of Christ church in Pacific Beach where the pastor is married with three children.  Unbelievably, Pastor Brian is able to love God, his parish, and a family at the same time.  Going to have Brian call The Pope soon to see if he can change that marriage rule, or at the very least help the Catholics come up with a plan to change the way they hide pederast priests.

During that phone call, I am going to suggest that The Pope should hide pederast priests in deep, dirt covered holes in the woods of Wisconsin.   Wonder what Brian will suggest?      Back on point…..change is hard.   

Consider Wile E. Coyote and his desire for a tasty roadrunner dinner.   Mr. Coyote never changed his offense, consistently ordered the wrong products from Acme, and always expected a different result.   The photo below never, ever, ever happened because Wile E. Coyote avoided change, regardless of the feedback loop.

Consider Charlie Brown and his simple desire to kick a football.  Mr. Brown never changed his offense, consistently allowed the wrong person to tee up the football, and  expected a different result.   Mr. Brown chose to never change:  all subsequent results were consistent with his choice.

 

Consider Frederick Douglass and his 1855 work My Bondage and My Freedom.   Even abolitionists had a hard time believing that a black man could write such a moving, transformational masterpiece.  A story of “a slave that became a man”, Mr. Douglas’s work changed the way thousands of white folks viewed black intelligence.  While they made no one laugh like a hyena, Mr. Douglas’s work made people think and feel deeply.   Two out of three ain’t bad.

Consider Maya Angelou and her book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.    Ms. Angelou’s quote on courage defines the courage necessary for change:  “Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”   Raped by her mother’s boyfriend at the age of eight and choosing to remain mute until twelve, Ms. Angelou changed the way ignorant folks thought about black women and remains one of the most prolific black activists of this century.

Incidentally, the caged bird sings because it has a song.

Consider Somaly Mam.  At the age most of us were entering sixth grade, Somaly Mam’s parents sold her into sexual slavery in Cambodia.   She was beaten, raped, starved, and mutilated by men, spending the next ten years as a sex slave.   After ten years of sex slavery, she married a customer, moved with him to France, and then chose to return to Cambodia to establish AFESIP.  AFESIP (a French acronym for Acting for Women in Distressing Circumstances) provides shelter for young sex slaves, acts as a mentally rehabilitating safe haven, and trains these young girls with marketable, non sex slave skills like hairdressing and sewing.  The Somaly Mam foundation continues to act as a change agent in Southeast Asia.

Consider the youth in Iran and Neda Agha Soltan.  This month marks the one year anniversary of the green wrist bands in Iran.  There is one Man with many faces.  The Man has many forms and The Man exists in all religions and political systems.   June 20^th  is the anniversary of Neda Agha Soltan ’s martyrdom on Khargar Avenue in Tehran.    Those that chose to kill Ms. Soltan were ignorant enough to believe that they can stop change with guns.  That single bullet to Ms. Soltan’s heart a year ago today changed the peaceful revolution in Iran.   The bullet gave the revolution a face and a soul.  Moreover, that single bullet ensured that one day the mullah would give over power to people of Iran.   The people who voted out The Man one year and three weeks ago.

 

You still have that pilsner you poured way up there?    Raise your glass in toast to those that embrace change and the magical mystical results that come to those courageous enough to embrace change.  Even with all the uncertainty change brings.  Raise your glass for Neda Agha Soltan and those that will be out protesting and remembering a brave woman dedicated to change in the streets of Tehran on June 20, 2010 and every day until The Man slinks away to the Elburz Mountains up north.

Here’s to you and those like you, Neda.

 

 

 

The Mind of Mully

I exploit you

Still you love me

I tell you

1 + 1 = 3

 .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Links to Go Deeper (if anything tickled your fancy up there)

 

The link below will take you to the June 20, 2009 video:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76W-0GVjNEc&skipcontrinter=1 

 

To learn more about the Somaly Mam Foundation, please visit the following link:

 

http://www.somaly.org/?gclid=CM7tpJmnq6ICFYM65QodXnADSA 

 

The link below will take you to a wonderful, in depth interview with Maya Angelou:

 

http://www.achievement.org/autodoc/page/ang0int-1 

 

 

And finally, the link here has written proof that Pastor Brian is married, has three sons and still can impart Bible and God wisdom.   Shocker.

 

http://www.pbchristian.com/who.php

 

Thanks for joining this evening and thanks to my dad for joining me in juvenile court back in the 1980’s.   Happy Father’s Day, Glove Man.   I love you.