Best Experienced With: Marianne Faithfull; Ballad of Lucy Jordan
(Please right click on the link below to cue up the suggested background music for this evening’s treatise)
Promised something by this evening on Nashian economic theory, fractals, and gaming theory. Had something relatively spiffy written on The Prisoner’s Dilemma with Hostess Snack Cakes as the reward. There was also an “if…then” gaming simulation using Nash’s equilibrium where it was you and Carrot Top working on the optimum cumulative payout with HGH, dianabol and plastic surgery.
Had to set that one aside when I saw Doreen Carvajal’s article in the New York Times this evening. Titled “In Belgium. Ex-Cardinal Says Abuser Misled Him”, Ms. Carvajal’s article was about, shocker, pedophile priests. More precisely, the article was about how the former leader of the Catholic Church in Belgium tried to suppress a man’s testimony of his serial sexual abuse at the hands of one of Belgium’s Catholic priests. Cardinal Danneels is on tape trying to talk the family out of making the sexual abuse public.
Shocker. Who woulda thunk it?
Each new week brings several dozen new visitors here and each month we lose a few dozen through the thinning of the herd. It’s always good to thin the herd. Tonight we will thin those Catholics who choose to turn a blind eye to the supression of pedophile priests.
While my sainted mother remains a deacon in her Catholic church, am relatively certain she will not be in the thinned portion of the herd. Mom embraces my kicking the Catholic Church to the curb and in the teeth. Mom and I have agreed to disagree and hug it out for years. I feel sorry for mom because she has to hang out with the pedophile hiders, yet love her no less today than before I chose to move on up to a Disciples of Christ church where we stone pederasts in the parking lot each Sunday at 10:23 a.m. Spent most of my my life as a Catholic, making me uniquely qualified to opine on the silliness below, especially the Catholic Church jumping of the shark.
On September 22, 1977 the writers of “Happy Days” ruined the television series forever by having Fonzie don water skis and jump a shark. Not only did this take suspension of disbelief into a completely different dimension, it was just plain stupid. First of all, very few 1950 Milwaukee auto mechanics knew how to water ski in open ocean, let alone possess the skills to jump a shark their first time on water skis. Second, I have lived in California for fifteen years and have yet to see a live shark in a pen anywhere near a California pier. One would think the probability of this happening in 1950 would be significantly lower than in 2010. Thirdly, Fonzie was wearing a leather jacket and, again, that’s just plain stupid.
Jumping the shark. What a fantastic phrase.
There was a worldwide uproar in the mid 1990’s when many credible news agencies reported that Nike Corporation used “slave” labor in Pakistan and Cambodia to manufacture our shoes and whatnot. More important, Nike very hypocritically began a “woman power” marketing campaign in their largest market, the United States, while still opening factories in misogynistic countries with less than stellar human rights history when it comes to women and children.
While these revelations were supposed to be Nike’s “jumping the shark”, no one really paid too much attention and Anderson Cooper only did a single twelve minute episode on Nike, clad in a painted on black tee shirt. Again, shocker. Ever the fan of voting my conscience using my wallet, I have chosen to not purchase Nike since Nike chose to jump into my mental bucket labeled “hypocrites”.
The Catholic Church first jumped the shark in the mid 1990’s when the Boston Globe first reported on egregious hiding and moving of pedophile priests. Over the past fifteen years, we have all read about similarly egregious behavior in our largest cities.
Numbers and facts back up the Catholic Church shark jumping escapades. Published in 2002, the John Jay Report listed the following:
- 10,667 reports of sexual abuse against minors from 1950 through 2002
- 149 priests (out of the 4,392) committed 26% of the reported abuse
- 143 priests had sexual abuse allegations in more than one diocese because they were moved.
- 1 priest was moved 4 times and abused a child each time
- Few incidents were reported to the police
- 81% of the abuse victims were male
- The vast majority of the victims were post pubescent
- 51% of the abuse victims were between 11 and 14
- More than half of the detailed sexual abuse happened for more than a single year
- Roughly 20% of the reported abuse spanned two to five years. After being reported.
One of the best books in recent years is Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Some compare it to The Catcher in the Rye, although I am holding out hope that serial killers and those wishing to murder ex Beatles do not abandon Catcher for Perks. That would ruin Perks for me and many others. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a masterful, clever read: pick it up for a plane ride or a beach day. You are welcome.
Midway through the book is a poem. This is the poem. You are welcome.
once on a yellow piece of paper,
he wrote a poem
and he called it “chops”
because that was the name of his dog.
and that’s what it was about
and his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
and his mother hung it on the door
and read it to his aunts
that was the year father tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and let them sing on the bus
that was the year his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
and his mother and father kissed a lot
and the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of x’s
and he had to ask his father what the x’s meant
and his father always tucked him in at night
and was always there to do it
once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem called “autumn”
because that was the name of the season
and that’s what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
and the kids told him
that father tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometimes they would burn holes
that was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
and the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see santa claus
and the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
and his father never tucked him in at night
and got mad
when he cried for him to do it
once on a piece of paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
called “innocence; a question”
because that was the question about his girl
and that’s what is was all about
and his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
becaue he never showed her
that was the year that father tracy died
and he forgot how the end
of apostle’s creed went
and he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
and his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
and the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
and at three a.m he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly
that’s why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it “absolutely nothing”
because that’s what it was really about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
and he hung it on that bathroom door
because he didn’t think
he could reach the kitchen
Michael Ungalo killed himself on May 4, 2010. His family subsequently filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the Catholic diocese of Pittsburgh because Mr. Ungalo was molested for several years by Richard Dorsch, the priest at his church: All Saints Church. Pedophile Father Dorsch was later defrocked and imprisoned after he was convicted of abusing another boy. Here is Mr. Ungalo’s obituary:
Age 39, of New York City. Beloved son, brother, uncle and friend died suddenly May 4, 2010. He will be dearly missed and fondly remembered for his passion, intelligence, adventurous spirit, humor, generosity, creativity and deep love of family and friends. Michael graduated with honors from the University of Pennsylvania, where he served on the Student Committee on Undergraduate Education and as President of Alpha Phi Delta fraternity. An accomplished copywriter, avid runner and seasoned traveler, Michael completed three marathons. Friends will be received MONDAY evening from 6-9pm at WORRELL FUNERAL HOME, INC., corner of Main and Ninth Sts. Sharpsburg. Funeral Service will be conducted TUESDAY at 11am from Christ Episcopal Church, 5910 Babcock Blvd. Pittsburgh, PA 15237. Interment will be private. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children or to Autism Speaks.
Perhaps one of the finest lines in any book pops up in Mr. Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Nike has most likely never been played a strong role in the formative years of any child. I have yet to meet a twenty-three year old who through it would be a fantastic idea to open a Malaysian sweat shop because that’s what their role model Nike did when they were twelve. Would imagine that if Nike Corporation hid thousands of pedophile employees around the world, Nike would be out of business today. Why is the Catholic Church still in business when there are hundreds of church alternatives available? Economically, does the Catholic Church have inelastic demand curves?
If you committed an act as egregious as molesting a child at your company’s Omaha, Nebraska facility, what are the odds that your company would move you to your Jacksonville,. Florida facility? Zero? Less than zero? If A, then B. If B, then C.
If A, then C.
Abusers tend to abuse others because it is a learned behavior. An awful, learned behavior that takes years of intense therapy to unlearn. At the very least, these priests caused thousands of their parishioners to have less than ideal adult relationships with their significant others. As we have seen over the past few years (what Pope Benedict chose to do in Germany, the Belgian ex Cardinal, ad infinitum & ad nauseum), the 10,667 reports of sexual abuse against minors in the John Jay report is a microcosm of what has gone on for decades, known to the Catholic Church.
The system should have been there for these 10,667 folks and, moreover, the institution should have most certainly created a safe and secure environment for all to worship. These children were not only victimized by the pedophile priests, they were victimized all the way up to a position I once believed to be infallible, The Pope.
Hiding pedophile priests is more stupid than a 1950’s Milwaukee auto mechanic jumping a shark on waterskis in a pen off the California coast while wearing a leather jacket. That’s a whole lotta stupid.
Those of you wishing to read the John Jay report in its entirety can find it at the link below. I read it cover to cover this evening and it is riveting. Disgusting, yet riveting. Unlike Fox News, I actually do all my research before vomiting words onto a keyboard.
Those of you wishing to see Catholic pedophile priest reports from around the world, feel free to visit the following links:
The North Pole
Italy (Italy is chock full)
Thanks for joining tonight. If you would like to join me at a non-pedophile hiding church, please meet me at 10:43 Sunday morning at the Pacific Beach Christian Church….directions are below. I tend to show up a little late because of all the touching and hugging they do in the first thirteen minutes. I get enough of that in mosh pits and such. At our church we have black people and white people, liberals and conservatives, gay couples and straight couples. No pedophile priests, though. We tend to frown on that behavior and although we “open wide our hearts to God and one another”…………we don’t open our hearts wide to pedophile priests. We bludgeon them. If anyone has a shotgun in their car, we’ll kneecap them, too.
You have to draw a line somewhere, you know?
Still here? The second best line from The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Good question. Here’s the answer. “I feel infinite….”