School Rules, Fight Club Rules, Cider House Rules, & Cowboy Rules





Best Experienced With:          Cracker;     Get Off This

 (please right click on the link below to open the suggested background music for this evening’s examination of The Rules in a new browser window.   Choices.   Everyone loves choices.)


  1. The following items are prohibited and are grounds for either suspension or expulsion:  knives, weapons, dangerous objects, Nancy Pelosi, gang emblems, and lewd or obscene behavior.
  2. Fighting, provoking fights or intimidation may result in suspension or transfer to another school.
  3. Students who dress inappropriately will be subject to disciplinary action.  Parents will be contacted to bring students proper attire.  Parents are prohibited from bringing students either Anarchy silly angel wing shirts or always ugly Ed Hardy clothing as “proper” attire.
  4. Truancy is subject to disciplinary consequences.  Students are expected to be in every class every day to maximize learning.
  5. Students who are habitually tardy or out of class are subject to detention, mandatory parent conferences and/or forced Ed Hardy clothing wearing.
  6. Food and drinks are not allowed in the classrooms, main hall, home economics hall, library, or offices.  Razzles do not count.  First they’re a candy, then they’re a gum.  Little round Razzles are so much fun.
  7. Please stay off the roof.
  8. Students are not allowed in the parking lot during school hours.



  • You do not talk about Fight Club
  • You do not talk about Fight Club
  • If someone says “stop” or goes limp, taps out…fight is over
  • Only two guys to a fight
  • No shirt, no shoes
  • Fights go on as long as they have to




A.     No smoking in bed

B.     Persons who have consumed alcohol are not allowed to operate the cider press

C.     Don’t climb on the roof when you have been drinking

D.     No sunbathing on the roof

E.      For crying out loud, stay off the roof!   Can’t you read?




  • Live each day with courage
  • Take pride in your work
  • Always finish what you start
  • Do what has to be done
  • Be tough, but fair
  • When you make a promise, keep it
  • Ride for the brand
  • Talk less and say more
  • Remember that some things are not for sale
  • Know where to draw the line
  • Be gentle to small children, old folks and animals
  • Be helpful when someone is in trouble
  • Respect womanhood, your parents, and the nation’s laws


The Mind of Mully


Are you truly deeply cynical

Because boy you know I loved you so

When no one knew your name

And you were pompous

















Good night, you princes of Maine, you Kings of New England………..


La la la la la la la la. 






 Thanks for the memories, Bubba.






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7 responses to “School Rules, Fight Club Rules, Cider House Rules, & Cowboy Rules

  1. Brad Bortz

    You are one crazy MF! Ride on Garth, ride on . . .

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